Aweee, you didn’t know how to answer him when he asked “what are we?” I’m sorry. Let me try to help… it won’t work, but a little more confusion never hurts!

1. Film Critics

I’m sure we have all heard of the “he asked me over to watch a movie” stage: beautiful little butterflies in your stomach watching Superbad on his bed. If you’ve been in this stage for a while, say the butterflies have flown away and now you’re just annoyed he wants to watch Step Brothers again, then you two are not bf and gf, but Film Critics. Bonus points if you guys talk about how good the production quality of Grown Ups is instead of just hooking up already.

2. Dodgeball Champions

Listen, muchacho, this is for one type of situationship and one type only: you’ve been hanging for a while and you still haven’t met the friends. The story usually goes a little something like this: he name drops Bret and Sam all the time and now they feel like old pals to you! Except when he invited you to their party you made an excuse. But he’s no better! The roommates asked him over for a charcuterie night and he had a paper due. This is all too much. Stop trying to get the gold in the dodgeball olympics and go socialize.

3. Hometown Glories (DISCLAIMER: not to be mistaken for Hometown Glory Holes)

This one is so niche but I know you guys are out there. “You guys” being the people that never dated in high school but then started dating during your college winter break. Now, you’re back at school, seeing him every other weekend, wishing you just dated in high school but then again he got funnier and oh shit the drive to Connecticut from Boston is 4 hours you have to get on the road right now!

4. Music Lovahhhs

If you two send each other music then this label is for you. Maybe he hasn’t told you that he has feelings, but him admitting that his favorite song is not “Wishing Well” by Juice WRLD but rather “Yellow” by Coldplay, well… that is confirmation enough that he’s in love! Keep on keepin’ on, bae! Give him some music recs and don’t forget: the minute he sends you some “Summer Sun” type playlist GET OUT; that’s some “Music Spouses” type shit, and you guys are not there yet.

5. Lawfully Wedded Friends

“We don’t want a relationship! We’re just friends…who kiss. And ask each other ‘how was your day.’ And want to know about each other’s trauma.” Sound familiar? Then you guys are “Lawfully Wedded Friends.” It’s definitely not a hookup, but until you get your feelings in order consider yourself in somewhat of a loose marriage.

So, there you go. Keep on overanalyzing the feelings you have for him and add these five ideas to your overthink tank. Happy dating and stay manic, girly. 

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