Photoshopped by Lauren Kelmar (COM '21).
CJ Zachara (COM '21)

CJ is a senior in COM studying Film and Television. He is from Maplewood, New Jersey.

Every semester there’s that one guy in class that just seems so right, and yet you know deep down that he would be a terrible decision for your wellbeing. Learn From Anywhere is a whole new ball game so it’s time we define who is worth it and who’s not depending on their class attendance status.

1.  half in-person, half online

Our hypothetical boy, Tim, attends half and half. A little studious, a little Covid-safety conscious, we like Tim. Be prepared for him to be half drunk and half high when he texts you on weekends. Besides the apparent commitment issues, Tim is probably a fairly safe option to talk to. 

2. fully in-person

Boy number 2, Jim, goes to class fully in person. Jim is a baller, or so he says. You can rest assured he’d be down to hang, but he also may have Corona. Watch it. 

3. supposed to be in-person, actually online from dorm

This very special case, Finn, is wildly inconsistent. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for, let alone ready to commit to anything. Finn is a little scary, his thoughts are a mystery and the screen hides his true fuckboy self. Finn is a fraud. 

4. doesn’t come at all

A badass. Tom is a badass. He is acing the class and the professor loves him, yet he never attends in-person OR online. How? Tom is an inspiration, but he is drunk all the time and definitely won’t answer a text since he dropped his phone in his beer. Be like Tom, but stay away from Tom. 

5. fully online

Our last guy, Jon, is truly a nice guy. It’s a shame his Nebraska home is in a different time zone, he never turns his camera on, and does not plan to return to campus at all this year. Jon is not worth falling for, and it’s not because of his current girlfriend (you can easily take her). Long distance just ain’t worth it, we don’t like Jon. KEEP AWAY!

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