Photoshopped by Jacob Cohen (COM'22)
Samantha Dilsheimer (COM '22)

Samantha is a sophomore from Philadelphia studying film/TV. She likes piña coladas, getting caught in the rain, and bad 70s music.

1. The Artsy, Gender Bending Bald Queen

Since President Brown is already balding, we feel this drag persona is right in his wheelhouse. Think Sasha Velour’s famous lip synch to Whitney’s “So Emotional” on the season 9 finale of Drag Race, but instead of rose petals falling from his wig, Prezzie B would open up his briefcase and dollar bills would fly everywhere.

2. The Pageant Queen

We know our man could pull himself together with a tuck tight enough to snatch a trophy, crown, and most importantly, that cash money, henny.

3. The Shablam, Death Dropping Queen

President Brown could totally jump up in the air, spread his legs, and do a fierce cooter slam like drag queens of yore. Would he break a hip afterwards? Probably, but if anyone can pay for a hip replacement, it’s this guy.

4. The Motha Fuckin’ Marketing Genius

That queen could sell ice to an Alaskan. Boston University themed eyeshadow palette? Yes gawd. Warren dining hall scented perfume? Far too much. $64,000 for 4 intro classes that don’t count toward  your major? Come through!!

5. Miss Congeniality 

HA! Jk miss thang. He is the grinch personified. 

 

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