Photoshopped by Shannon Damiano (COM '22).

1. leggings and sweater

It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to go all out because you’ve been pulling all-nighters this entire week so you could spend quality time with your family, she will still make fun of you. Despite how well-intentioned you may be, she cannot have family members know you go a day without looking nice. She also knows there are no thicc members of this family and your flat ass won’t pull it off.

2. sweater and ripped jeans

You almost hit the nail on the head with this one, but when you walk into the living room all your mom will see is the rips. She won’t even care that you bought them pre-ripped for $290 at Urban Outfitters, she will tear it to shreds. Extra points on this one because your Grandma(s) will also get upset at the rips, and your Grandpa(s) will ask if you bought them with or without the rips, laughing at their own joke.

3. dress and tights

There’s nothing wrong with this one, but she’s just been running around all day cooking the meal and trying to stop fights between all the family members about the election. Unfortunately, you knocked on the bathroom door to ask her to zip up your dress just when she walked in for peace and quiet. You can easily save the day by saying she’s the thing you’re grateful for later at dinner, but there’s no way you’re gonna avoid this one chief.

4. the classic skirt-sweater combination

This one is tricky because your mom knows it’s cute, but she also knows that Uncle Justin’s second wife will make a comment to her wondering why she let you leave the house in a skirt that short. This will happen regardless of how short the skit actually is. On any other day, she’d clap back by asking why she let Uncle Justin bang her without a ring for 7 years, but she isn’t up for it today. So she will tell you the skirt makes you look like a slut and tell you to change quickly because we’re leaving in 5 minutes.

5. blazer and dress pants

You may think that your mom will think this combo is sophisticated. However, what you didn’t know is that she spent the last three days seeing Facebook memories about Thanksgiving when you were seven years old, and this grown-up outfit will trigger her realization you’re not her little girl anymore. Instead of using this moment to tell you how proud she is of the woman you’ve grown into, she will also take these feelings out on your self-esteem by asking “what you’re so dressed up for” because Thanksgiving is “not a beauty contest.”  

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