Living with main character syndrome can burden one’s daily life in a myriad of ways. Sometimes you need to look around and make eye contact with random people on public transportation so you miss your stop, or an aimless walk around the city leaves you stranded in a strange neighborhood where you’re taken in by a group of down-on-their-luck street youths. Here are some tried and true remedies for this extremely annoying ailment.

1. sit on a curb in the rain

While this may seem counterintuitive, sitting on a curb in the rain can be great exposure therapy for the afflicted, as they realize that being the main character is wet, cold, and not too glamorous. 

2. take a goddamn nap

This is a hail Mary last resort cure. Just log out of consciousness. Your brain can’t center you in other people’s lives if you’re asleep, right? 

3. listen to someone else

Instead of always relaying your ~main character problems~ to your friends, maybe take a step back and listen. Remind yourself that others exist. Oh, and DO NOT interrupt. Your life is not more interesting than theirs. 

4. ground yourself in reality

Actually go to class instead of wandering around Target. Cook yourself some food instead of eating at a cafe by yourself. Acquire credit card debt.

5. embrace it

Look, we all have main character syndrome. You can learn to live with it, or maybe try a drug cocktail of Prozac, Vyvanse, and Lamictal


Leave a Reply