Photoshopped by Emmie Phillips (COM '22)
Michal Shvimer (COM '21)

Michal is a sophomore from Detroit, Michigan studying Journalism and International Relations.

Hey, Rudolph. Winter is here, and your red, shiny nose is blowing snot like you wouldn’t believe. While you’re on the go, make sure you know where you can stop to give your mucus a good rub without having to take a bathroom detour.

College is only four years, but snot is forever. This semester, leave your mark on BU’s most hallowed surfaces.

1. Exam

You show up to your first exam with three extra pencils but not a single tissue. But blue books and kleenex are made out of the same stuff, right? Your TF has hundreds of papers to read. Make yours the one that stands out. Your snot might not have been the substance they asked for, but it was the substance they deserved. Your parents told you to kick off the semester on a solid note, but starting on a liquid one could be just as good.

2. Kenmore station turnstiles

You’re about to go downtown on your favorite mode of transportation: the T. Turns out, your nose is just as reliable as the MBTA because it went running as fast as you did when you thought you would miss your train. As you swipe your Charlie Card, you schmear your snot on the turnstiles like the multitasking, snotty Bostonian you are. Now you know why they call it the green line. Not only does this save you time, it allows you to mark your favorite spots in the city with a booger route you can follow into your post-grad years.

3. T. Anthony’s display case

This is a great option for any of you west-campus-dwellers. What better way to grace your post-allston-crawl staple restaurant than by leaving the traces of your snot on its grimey display case. Other patrons may confuse it for the pizza grease, but you know the truth. You’ve spent years trying to stop the flu. This year, why not spread it?

4. Paint rock

This BU landmark has been a little neglected throughout the winter months. You don’t want to do it dirty like that. You want to do it a little dirtier. All you need is your nose to dress the paint rock up with the fresh decor it deserves. Coat the mighty rock with a shiny coat of your snot—no paint can required.

5. The MLK Dove sculpture

A great central location with an even greater cause. The MLK Dove sculpture was built as an homage to Martin Luther King Jr., a notable alumnus of Boston University and an avid civil rights advocate. Show your support for MLK by wiping your nose on the shiniest dove you can find. The sculpture is smack dab in the middle of Marsh Plaza, so anyone passing Comm Ave will see your glorious tribute and perhaps be encouraged to do the same.

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