COMMONWEALTH AVENUE—On its daily route down Commonwealth Avenue, the BU Shuttle stopped at Boston University’s College of Arts and Sciences only to unpack 200,000 clowns.
Bimzo, one of the clowns that was spotted getting off of the bus said, “We just figured, hey, if 60 of us can fit in a taxi cab, there are unlimited possibilities for how many of us could fit on a MTBA bus.” Apparently the possibilities were limited, in fact, to 200,000.
It took 45 minutes for all of the clowns to get off of the bus, partially do to the mass sum of them, and partially do to the fact that one of the clowns, Bupbop trapped 36 others in a mimed box, which they were only able to break out of when another clown, Floopsy, finally remembered that he had a mime axe in his pocket, and saved the day.
When asked how it felt to stand in a bus that crowded, Floopsy said it was similar to “spooning everyone while standing up.” Some clowns said that their primary tactic in creating more space was to just remember that they are a clown, shrinking their dignity, and along with that, their physical being.
At press time, the clowns got off of the bus they immediately began charading around marsh plaza and making balloon animals while scurrying in every direction and into CAS for classes.