Photoshopped by David Simon (COM '21).
Alex Schaffer

Alex is a graduate student from West Virginia studying in the MS Television program. The first concert she attended was Bruce Springsteen when she was 8, so she has a really strong fist pump.

We all know a film and TV student. Close your eyes and picture them. I can wait. Now, open your eyes. Did your heart rate go up? Are your fists clenched? Do you now find yourself inching towards an open window?

I knew it.

The film student is a fascinating specimen because they aren’t mysterious. They tell you every single detail about themselves within the first five minutes of meeting them. They also tend to be on the sensitive side, so don’t give them any feedback about anything. They’ll burst into tears.

I’m not here to encourage bullying, but I am here to validate any urge you have to make fun of someone who says they identify closely with Tyler Durden. Here are five ways to make fun of them without making your motives obvious:

  1. Tell them Pulp Fiction sucks

No need for explanation.

  1. Mention that you are Christopher Nolan’s muse

They’ll eventually find out you’re lying, but probably after 48 hours of research and continuous crying.

  1. Tell them your favorite genre is romantic comedy

Hallmark movies with predictable endings are better than movies where I actually have to pay attention for two hours.

  1. Ask them to explain the plot of A Clockwork Orange to you

Seriously. This movie terrifies me and I don’t get it. Please explain it to me.

  1. Start the rumor that they were inspired to be a filmmaker because they were big Smosh fans in 2012

It will probably turn out to be true.

They’ll use the excuse that “art is subjective” to ignore any constructive criticism – so this might be your only chance to remind them that idolizing Quentin Tarintino isn’t a personality trait.

Tune in next week as we make fun of business students who have to dress business casual for class! Happy justified bullying!

 

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