Ethan Brown (COM/CAS '21)

 

Ethan is a sophomore from Bethel, CT studying Film & Television and Environmental Analysis & Policy.

The City of Boston issued a heat advisory for today, and we here at The Bunion want you to stay safe and cool while you’re at BU. Follow these helpful tips to beat the heat!

1. Drink Fluids, But Not Caffeine or Alcohol

We know you don’t know any fluids that fit this description, so here are some examples: water, gatorade, milk, juice, lemonade, smoothies, slushies, and whatever horrific concoctions Sargent recommends.

2. Avoid Exercise

Unless you’re a Student Athlete™, in which case just keep it down to six hours per day. We know the grind never stops.

3. Purchase a Fan

Helpful tip: fans are allowed, but not if they’re in a window. So keep it somewhere safe, like on the floor or right next to your face.

4. BU Showers Rarely Have Hot Water, So Take Advantage

Just remember that there’s no water pressure either, so you’ll barely feel the cold water hit you. Have a towel ready for when you step out and inevitably start sweating again.

5. Pull the Fire Alarm, Then Stand Under the Sprinklers

Now that’s some water pressure! Why don’t they just replace the shower heads with those? If you don’t feel like pulling the fire alarm, don’t worry! Someone is bound to set it off in under ten minutes.

6. Take Shelter in the Shadow of an Embedded Traffic Cone

For full benefits, crouch down to the height of the traffic cone so that it blocks the sun from hitting your face.

7. Take Off Your Canada Goose

Contrary to popular belief, Canada Goose jackets actually trap heat. Take it off and opt for a cooler option, like a long sleeve T and a pair of BU sweatpants. On a related note, school spirit is great, but now is not the time to wear your Rhett costume. Wait for cooler weather.

8. Go to Questrom And Ask to Touch a Cold-Blooded Student

Just don’t let them do any slashing and burning.

9. Swim in the COM Fountain

Disclaimer: don’t. We haven’t checked, but we’re pretty sure this is frowned upon except in emergencies.

10. Heat Rises, So Try Lying Down on the Pavement Instead

There’s no way the hot air could get down that low!

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