ALLSTON — The four Boston University students that were jailed for three nights after throwing a house party released a public statement following their release on Friday. In the statement, titled “We Are Being Treated Fairly and Justly”, the four students have praised their legal treatment following the incident as sensible and appropriate.
“Judge David Donnelly has reinstated bail and released us, but he has also set harsher probation restrictions including a curfew, visitor restrictions, and travel restrictions,” reads the statement. “If we violate the new provisions, we could go to prison for 60 days.”
“We just want to say that we have received fair treatment from all involved offices, bureaus and institutions throughout this disorienting process,” continued the statement. “From the Boston Police Department explicitly targeting our house to their clear intent to send an intimidating message to the neighborhood at our expense, no one should have any doubt that all law enforcement authorities have acted appropriately in this matter.”
“It’s only fair that we were sent to jail for three days. Three days is the minimum amount of time to determine whether four college students are a danger to the public. We also believe that it is incredibly professional of our judge to maintain his integrity by deriding us in the press.”
“It’s sensible and fair that my client currently stands to return to jail for 60 days if he violates probation,” said one defendant’s defense attorney, Patrick E. Sheehan.
“I’d also like to thank the court for employing reasonable probation restrictions that any typical college student could easily violate,” added Sheehan.
The students’ statement continues on thanking various authority figures, particularly Dean of Students Kenneth Elmore.
“He definitely has our back, and that’s what is fantastic about him. He’s the kind of dean who buys students drinks at the BU Pub and willfully ignores the prevalence of partying, only to throw students and student organizations under the bus the second there is bad press.”
“It’s almost like he’s two completely different people, which is impressive for a busy guy like him,” the statement added.
“We’d like to thank the press for publishing stories about arrests without criticizing potentially illogical policies that led to those arrests, and for humiliating defendants and ruining their reputation by omission of facts, focus on scandal and general fetish towards sensationalism.”
“BU has a great journalism community that has championed our story,” says the statement. “They should be commended for being completely objective in their reporting and not scrutinizing our treatment or critics, or bothering to point out that partying is a common occurrence in Allston and we are extremely similar to all other students at this university.”
“We don’t deserve special treatment,” the statement concludes.
At press time, all four defendants are grateful that their future job prospects are rightfully jeopardized because they threw a party during college.